when you’re divorced in your twenties…
Divorce isn’t rare… but being divorced in your twenties is………
When you’re divorced in your twenties, you may get lots of supports.
I DID. My family was incredible. My ‘real’ friends were incredible. They never made me feel like I had failed. They laughed and cry with me. You realize very quickly who is in your “tribe”. These are the people who liked you when it appeared to be all good, these are the people who still like you once you’re a serious mess. They are your people. Hold on to them for dear life… 🙂
When you’re divorced in your twenties, you may feel embarrassed.
Look, it’s true… All those people came to my wedding and bought some presents and probably wondered at some point if I am is too young at that time. That’s all happened. And I feel embarrassed that I couldn’t make it work. Nobody does life perfectly. The only one thing that makes you different than anybody else is a divorce is a public announcement that your life isn’t perfect. You know what?! Thank God. It takes the pressure off!
When you’re divorced in your twenties, life goes on.
It does. I promise you. We 20-somehings have age on our sides. We can start over sooner. Find the things you love to do and do them. You’ll start meeting people who love those things too. Eventually you’ll be so busy with awesome things, you will suddenly realize that your heart isn’t broken anymore and you don’t feel like an emotional wreck. Life keeps moving right along with it. YOU GOT THIS!
6 Reasons you shouldn’t regret divorcing in your 20s.
Instead of dwelling on the negative and shying away from the subject, why not focus on all the things you learned from the marriage… ???
1 . I learned what love is – and what it isn’t.
“My 20s was a decade of epic mistakes. Looking back, I see how I was forcing perfection out of a truly toxic situation. Our doom was inevitable. Do I regret the marriage? Absolutely not. It taught me a hell of a lot about love. Did I rethink my next steps? Oh, hell yes.” – Amy Kristine.
2 . I learned it’s better to be alone than to be with wrong person.
“The greatest thing I learned from my marriage at 23 and the ensuing divorce is that it’s better to wait for exactly what you want than settle. Nothing is more lonely than being with wrong person. I don’t think I’d understand that without my divorce. Today I’m much more content waiting for the right one knowing full well that person will absolutely be worth to wait.” – Joni Erdmann, blogger at Abandon Status Quo.
3 . I learned that divorce can strike again.
“It’s important to remember that getting divorced is not like getting the chickenpox. You’re not immune after you have a divorce under your belt. It can happen again. But hopefully, you learn a lot from it. If you have this experience early in life, you might be turn out to be on of those people who’s all happy and fulfilled in middle age because you wised up when you were younger. You’ll probably end up being a rad older person who’s like, ‘My 30s were superb but being 40 is where it’s AT.” So that’s something to look forward to.” – Jeanne Goshe, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced.
4 . I learned what to do – and not to do – the next time around.
“My first marriage gave me the knowledge of what not to do in my next. My divorce forced me to look at myself in another light. In the end, I don’t regret it because there is no point in living with regret.” – Aly Marie.
5 . In spite of all the outside judgement, you learn that leaving is sometimes the best, healthiest choice.
“My marriage lasted two years and a half but it taught me how important it is to communicate all the time and about everything. Many people judge me for being divorced so young but being aware that the relationship was not healthy and leaving was the best decision I could have made for both of us.” Deasty Zasqiya, Blogger at WordPress.
6 . I learned that life goes on.
“Marrying in my 20s and getting divorced in my mid-20s had its advantages. It was a good conversation starter – especially during those seven or eight months when my ex and I had split up but were still legally married. (It’s always amusing to answer ‘well, sort of!’ When a person asks you if you’re married.) But the best thing about early 20s divorce is that you quickly learn a lesson that can take other people years to realize: Even when you feel like your entire world has fallen apart, it hasn’t. You will be OK!.” – Jessica Wernz, blogger at Everyone Gets Divorced.
You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough…
When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalise that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you – it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. you’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise. – Daniel Koepke.